在批改学生写的雅思英语作文时,经常遇到下面这样的句子:
The test does not require the skills that are used in everyday driving situations. 驾照考试并不考查日常驾驶情形下常用的驾驶技巧。He's very concerned about his students. 他很关心他的学生。这样的句子似乎没什么问题,语法也正确,词汇也还ok,内容也没有偏题。
但英语作文中,好的句子,不应只是满足上面的基本要求,还应做到“内容的具体(Specefic)”
何为内容的具体所谓内容的具体,是指读者能够从句子中看到画面感,能够有具体的细节,而不是抽闲空洞的内容。
例如:在上述第1句话中,什么样的技能才是日常常用的驾驶技能呢?在第2句话,他很关心学生,可是他是如何关心学生的呢?所有这些细节,我们都无法从句中看出。
因此,在雅思大作文写作过程中,我们应该尽量避免这样的句子。尽量做到,让句子充满细节内容,让内容呈现画面感。
针对上面2句话,我们可以作如下修正:The test does not require the skills that are used in everyday driving situations.To be eligible drivers, they should also master the traffic rules, and know how to turn left/right, to drive backward, to use the car brake, and to accelerate /decelerate, etc.
eligible drivers: 合格的司机master the traffic rules 掌握交通规则turn left/right 左/右转弯drive backward 后退倒车use the car brake 刹车accellerate/ decelerate 减速或减速 He's very concerned about his students.He groups students together at least once a week to solve their study problems, and to learn about their physical health and psychological state.
solve their study problems解决学习问题physical health 身体健康psychnological state心理状况