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终于懂得如何稳固地攻克托福写作 托福备考

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终于懂得如何稳固地攻克托福写作 托福备考

放大字体  缩小字体 发布日期:2021-11-26 20:40:01  浏览次数:48
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  很多刚入门的同学都迷茫托福写作应该怎么开始练,小编为大家请来了经验丰富的老师,详细解读如何从托福写作的得分要点入手,修改出一篇好文章。
   TOEFL 写作考试

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  很多刚入门的同学都迷茫托福写作应该怎么开始练,小编为大家请来了经验丰富的老师,详细解读如何从托福写作的得分要点入手,修改出一篇好文章。
   TOEFL 写作考试形式托福写作考试分为两个部分:
  1. 综合写作 ( Integrated Writing ) :阅读一段 230-300 words 的文段,要求 3mins 内完成,然后听一段 230-300 words 的听力。完成后,给 20 mins 写一篇 200-300 words 的文章,要求阐述阅读、听力内容以及两者之间的关系。
  2. 独立写作 ( Independent Writing ) :给 30 mins 要求完成一篇 300 words 以上的文章。题目为特定题库。
  TOEFL 写作考试要求
  笔者结合多年教学经验、要求、以及数千篇文章批改经验,总结罗列出托福写作考试的得分要点如下:
  1. 有效地应答任务 ;
  2. 语言使用熟练,无过多语法、拼写和标点使用错误 ;
  3. 组织结构好,展开话题完善 ;
  4. 使用解释,举例等论证方法 ;
  5. 有效地进行文字处理,整合与递进 ;
  6. 语法具有多样性 ;
  7. 用词合理并且地道。
  上述 7 点能做到 1,2 的同学,写作基本达标,可以拿到一个 15-20 分的成绩 ;
  上述 7 点能做到 1,2,3,4,5 的同学,写作水平较好,可以获得 21-25 分的成绩 ;
  上述 7 点全部做到的同学,可以或得 26 分以上直至满分的分数。
   TOEFL 作文修改实战下面一段文字是我的学生在 TOEFL 独立写作的一个自然段。在这里给大家逐句从基础语法方面分析一下,主要解决写作要求中的第 1,2 两个点。这篇习作的题目是:
  People are now easier to become educated than in the past.
  ① First, people in now would have a better education because there are more teachers than the past. ② This can largely decide how students be educated. ③ For example, in the past, it is common that one teacher teach many subjects like math, Chinese, English and so on. ④ Now however, in one school there are many teachers who teach one subject. ⑤ In this way, it can develop the quality of the teaching section and the practice part. ⑥ Think about it, if a teacher teaches 8 classes, and he has to correct the homework every day, how well he can perform when he works on the last part of homework. ⑦ In contrast if the teacher only need to correct homework from 2 classes, how well can he do? ⑧ There are still many examples for this. ⑨ From the example, we can clearly see that how can the number of teachers decide the quality of education.
  逐句修改:
  ① "now" 前面是不用介词进行修饰的,因此需要去掉 "in".
  同时原因状语从句中的 "than" 比较双方也是不对称的。这里有 2 种改动方法,其一将比较对称,其二进行逻辑变换。所以,单纯从语法角度讲,笔者认为改成下面的表述会更好一些。
  First, people now would have a better education because there are fewer teachers in the past.
  ②第二句中的 "be" 不符合从句语法规则,应改成 are。
  同时,这个决定作者更倾向于描述教育的优劣,而非方式,所以仔细分析,其实原文并没有表述清楚。因此,第二句表述为:This can largely decide how well students are educated.
  ③ "in the past" 与 "is" 矛盾,需要修改。另外,"in the past" 的位置也是值得商榷的。同时 "teach" 的语法还有争议,建议使用 "would",可避免麻烦。
  另,笔者在美国的老师经常告诉笔者,英美人士不经常在 essay 中使用 and so on 等口语用词。
  综上,第三句改为:For example, it was common that one teacher would teach many subjects like math, Chinese and English in the past.
  ④本句错误有两个,其一是词语在句子中的位置不符合英文造句法,这是很严重的,而且也是第③句中出现的问题。另外,用词重复上句的用词,应予调换。
  ⑤第五句的衔接方式如①和②两句,如能改变连接方式,句式则会体现变化性。
  综上,第四句和第五句改为:
  However, there are many teachers focusing on one subject, which can develop the quality of the teaching section and the practice part.
  ⑥显然,由于第六句内容较多,学生没有控制住句子,致使第六句出现致命的多谓语现象。
  既然无法用复合句表达,就要果断的将句子断开。
  另外,就笔者经验而言,宾语从句殊疑问词的表述具有主观情绪,建议变换成客观描述性语句。综上,第六句拆解为:
  A case in point is a teacher teaching 8 classes. He has to correct the homework every day, and would not perform as good as the first assignment he corrected.
  ⑦仍然是句式变话的问题。
  其二,介词短语后面的标点也要注意,尽管不是必须的。
  笔者调整为 :
  In contrast, if the teacher only needs to work for 2 classes, he might possibly comment concretely and exactly the students ’ homework.
  ⑧无误。
  ⑨介词短语可以添加 "above"。
  宾语从句后面应为陈述句式。
  笔者调整为 : From the example above, we can clearly see that how the number of teachers could decide the quality of education.
   修改后的文章呈现为:First, people now would have a better education because there are fewer teachers in the past. This can largely decide how well students are educated. For example, it was common that one teacher would teach many subjects like math, Chinese and English in the past. However, there are many teachers focusing on one subject now, which can develop the quality of the teaching section and the practice part. A case in point is a teacher teaching 8 classes. He has to correct the homework every day, and would not perform as good as the first assignment he corrected. In contrast, if the teacher only needs to work for 2 classes, he might possibly comment concretely and exactly the students ’ homework. There are still many examples for this. From the example above, we can clearly see that how the number of teachers could decide the quality of education.
  尽管经修改后这个段落尚有很多不足之处,例子的选取、词语的选择、连贯性等方面还有待改善,但我认为这样的文章拿到 20 分是没有问题的。希望大家首先朝这个水平努力,按照 7 点要求,一个点一个点的训练,那么写作 30 分就不是问题。

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